I am so nervous..

I haven't posted anything for months because of the guilt. The guilt happened whenever I thought about doing something non-study related in place of actual studying. Today, as I am no longer studying, and therefore cannot feel directly guilty about blogging, I thought I would post about the 6-8 week wait. It.is.killing.me! This is the waiting period between taking the test and actually getting one's results. Although I have been keeping busy since taking the test, the results are always at the back of my mind. Did I do enough? Do I deserve to pass (I know, crazy right? what does that really have to do with it?)? The answers I changed right at the end from right answers to wrong ones (within this context: this is the worst feeling ever), how many were they and were they one too many? Please, please, please, let me pass (again bargaining or begging to whom I'm not sure, isn't really going to help either). And now the results are due to come out next week. So close, yet still I am in the safe "ignorance-is-bliss" cocoon where if people ask me how I did, I can say I honestly don't know. I am scared for next week. I am terrified. Maybe writing about it and admitting these feelings will make me feel better or make someone else feel better. Either way, it feels good to blog again.